Why Is My Baby Crying?

Hearing your baby crying can be upsetting, especially when you’re not sure what’s wrong. Crying is your baby’s only way of communicating with you. They are trying to tell you something, and it could be a number of things, so use our checklist to make sure you have everything covered.

It may help to know that crying is a normal part of your baby’s development, and it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. Over time, you’ll get to know what your baby’s different cries mean.

Why do babies cry?

The most common reasons babies cry are: a dirty or wet nappy, tiredness, wanting a cuddle, wind, feeling unwell, being too hot or too cold, boredom, overstimulation or hunger.

Let’s go through them:

• Are they hungry? As you bond with your baby, you will be able to learn the difference between their cries, and a hungry one should be easy to fix. In the early weeks, feeding your baby when they show signs of hunger, rather than at set times, is generally best
• Do they need a nappy change? Even we get irritable when we’re in need of a toilet stop
• They may just want a cuddle. When they’re upset, they won’t develop any bad habits from being held, so don’t worry about spoiling your baby just by comforting them; enjoy these precious cuddles
• Are they cold or overheating? Check the temperature of their chest, or the back of their neck, because their hands and feet tend to feel quite cold even when they’re hot. You may need to de-layer them or wrap them up some more
• Are they crying more in the late afternoon or evening? They might be overtired, so make sure your baby is getting enough sleep during the day
• Are they poorly? If they’re feeling unwell, their cry may sound different to usual, for example, weak, high-pitched or continuous, or they may seem unusually quiet or hard to settle.
• Crying after feeding? They may have trapped wind, so don’t forget to burp your baby during or after feeds. If they still don’t settle, they may have colic

How much newborn crying is normal?

All babies cry, and some cry much more than others. Newborn crying tends to peak when babies are around 4 to 8 weeks old, then gradually eases. There may be times of day when your baby cries a lot and can’t be comforted. Parents of a baby who seems to need comfort all the time sometimes describe them as a high-needs baby.

It’s reassuring to know that this crying peak usually settles by around 3 months. Some health services use the term “period of PURPLE crying” to describe this stage of normal infant crying: it peaks in the second month, can come and go unexpectedly, resists soothing, and tends to happen more in the late afternoon and evening. “Witching hour baby” is another term you may have heard, which describes a baby who’s unsettled at around the same time every evening.

Understanding your baby’s cries and cues

Learning what different baby cries mean takes time, but from birth, most infants show signs of what they need before they start crying. Crying is often a late sign of hunger. Earlier cues include opening their mouth, turning their head from side to side (rooting), smacking their lips and bringing their hands to their mouth. Responding to these early signs can make feeds calmer for you both.

When your baby needs a change or a break, they may look or turn away, put their hands up to their face, yawn or arch their back. Moving somewhere calmer and quieter can help them settle before the crying builds.

Why is my baby crying at night?

A baby crying at night can feel especially hard to cope with when you’re tired too. In the early months, a baby who wakes and becomes unsettled in the night is often ready for a feed.

Before you go to your baby, it may help to know that a baby crying in sleep isn’t always awake: young babies have lots of active sleep, and some cry or call out as they move between sleep cycles, then go back to sleep on their own.

Baby crying during or after feeds

A baby crying after feeding is often caused by trapped wind, so burping them during and after feeds can help. Crying during feeds can sometimes signal reflux, a common condition where babies bring up milk after feeds. If you’re breastfeeding, improving your baby’s positioning and attachment may help them settle.

If your baby cries for more than 3 hours a day, 3 days a week, for at least a week, but is otherwise healthy, it may be colic (sometimes called infantile colic). Speak to your health visitor or GP if you’re worried, or if symptoms continue after 4 months of age.

How to soothe a crying baby

Babies need a lot of soothing when they’re distressed, and comforting methods can sometimes soothe a baby, though they won’t always stop the crying.

Here are some tips on what to do for a crying baby to help them settle or fall asleep:

• If you’re breastfeeding, let your baby suckle at the breast
• Hold, rock or keep them close in a sling
• Sing, put the radio on, or use some white noise like the vacuum
• Take them for a walk or a drive
• Try offering a dummy as some babies can comfort themselves with one. If you’re breastfeeding, wait until your baby is around 4 weeks old
• Warm bath or a gentle massage, but avoid using any oils or lotions until your baby is at least a month old
• Pass them along to your partner, family member or even a friend; everyone needs a break sometimes, so don’t hesitate to ask

If your baby won’t stop crying and it’s affecting your relationship with them, or even between you and your partner, then please seek some help; people are always there for you.

Coping when your baby won’t stop crying

It is hard to ignore a baby’s cry. When your baby is crying constantly, it can cause a lot of stress, but you have to remember that crying is a normal part of their development and they are not being naughty when they cry. Looking after yourself is important too, so rest when you can, share the load with your partner, family or friends, and talk to other parents, who’ll understand how hard it can be to manage.

Make a plan for times when it gets too much, and you feel upset or angry. If you think you might lose control, it’s always OK to put your baby down somewhere safe, like their cot, and walk away for a few minutes to calm down. Never, ever shake your baby — it can cause serious, lasting harm. Check on them every few minutes until you feel ready to go back and soothe them, and don’t hesitate to ask someone for help.

When crying could be a sign of illness

You know your baby best, so trust your instincts. Get medical help straight away if your baby:

• Has a weak, high-pitched or continuous cry, or a cry that doesn’t sound like their normal cry
• Has a temperature of 38°C or higher and is under 3 months old, or 39°C or higher and is 3 to 6 months old
• Is having difficulty breathing, or makes grunting or wheezing sounds when they breathe
• Has a rash that doesn’t fade when you press a glass against it
• Is floppy or difficult to wake
• Isn’t feeding

If you’re concerned that your baby is feeding less than usual, or you’re worried about their weight, speak to your health visitor or GP.

Frequently asked questions

Is it OK to let my baby cry for a few minutes?

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s OK to put your baby down in a safe place, like their cot, and take a few minutes to calm yourself. Responding to your baby’s cries, even if it doesn’t stop the crying, helps build trust and a bond with them, so go back to comfort them when you’re ready.

Will I spoil my baby by picking them up?

No. When they’re upset, they won’t develop any bad habits from being held, so don’t worry about spoiling your baby just by comforting them.

Why does my baby cry for no reason?

It can feel that way, but crying is how babies communicate, and sometimes they simply need comfort. There may be times of day when your baby cries a lot and can’t be comforted, even when nothing seems to be wrong. This often eases as they get older.

When do babies start crying tears?

When babies are born, they aren’t able to produce visible tears. This is because their tear glands are still developing, and at first they only make just enough fluid to keep their eyes moist. It is only when they are a couple of months old that they actually start producing tears.

Can teething make my baby cry?

Yes, teething can make some babies more fretful than usual, although some babies’ teeth come through with little or no pain. Most babies start teething at around 6 months, although every child is different, and new teeth keep coming through into the toddler years.

Why do babies cry in their sleep?

Young babies spend a lot of their sleep in active sleep, and some cry or call out at the end of a sleep cycle without fully waking. If your baby is crying in their sleep, waiting a moment can help, as they may go back to sleep on their own. Other times, they’ll need your help to resettle.

When to seek further support

Crying is a normal part of your baby’s development, and it does get easier as you learn their cues. But if your baby seems to cry excessively, they seem unwell, or you feel your baby’s crying for no reason, don’t hesitate to speak to your health visitor, GP or a healthcare professional.

For more guidance and tips, explore the Capricare® Parent Support Hub.

References

• NHS Highland, Crying and your baby: https://www.nhshighland.scot.nhs.uk/your-services/all-services-a-z/maternity-and-neonatal/after-you-ve-had-your-baby/crying-and-your-baby/
• Tresillian, Newborn sleep cycles: https://www.tresillian.org.au/newborn/sleep/sleep-cycles/
• Derbyshire Family Health Service (NHS), Crying: https://derbyshirefamilyhealthservice.nhs.uk/our-services/0-5-years/your-babys-first-year/crying
• Cry-sis, In-depth guide for young babies: https://www.cry-sis.org.uk/in-depth-guide-for-young-babies/
• NHS, Is your baby or toddler seriously ill?: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/health/is-your-baby-or-toddler-seriously-ill
• NHS 111 Wales, Soothing a crying baby: https://111.wales.nhs.uk/livewell/pregnancy/newbornessentialssoothing/
• Sydney Children’s Hospitals Network (NSW Health), Hunger cues: https://www.schn.health.nsw.gov.au/kids-health-hub/kids-nutrition/infant-and-baby-nutrition/hunger-cues
• South Tees Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust, Understanding your baby’s cues: https://www.southtees.nhs.uk/?p=48556
• NHS Best Start in Life, Understanding your baby: https://www.nhs.uk/best-start-in-life/baby/baby-basics/bonding-with-your-baby/understanding-your-baby/
• NHS, Colic: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/colic/
• ICON (NHS Bedfordshire and Luton Children’s Health), Caring for your crying baby: https://bedslutonchildrenshealth.nhs.uk/behaviour-emotions-and-mental-health/caring-for-your-crying-baby-icon/
• NHS, Baby teething symptoms: https://www.nhs.uk/baby/babys-development/teething/baby-teething-symptoms/
• Cleveland Clinic, Crying: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/crying
• HSE, Winding and burping your baby: https://www2.hse.ie/babies-children/parenting-advice/caring-for-a-new-baby/winding-burping/